"H"

 

 

   I have not been able to put up an entry for a while but I do have a good reason. This last week department sent me to Ground Fighting instructor school. This was a great experience........If you like pain!.. which if you look at alot of my life choices you will see that I do. This class consisted of Gracie Jujitsu based police defense tactics. No, this was nothing unfamiliar to me. I have studied martial arts for over 14 years and I was stoked to go to this class. Most of my 14 years has been studying and teaching a traditional Japanese style of Karate. but in no way am I uncofortable on My back. (I know that sounds really bad)

 

  All in all it was a great class and other than the fact that I sweated more in this class than bike patrol certification. I had a great time. We did have quite a few injuries though. the class was full of some people that either: A. did not know their own strength   B. Knew their own strength and did'nt care. Or    C. Though they had to prove something. This resulted in one set of cracked ribs, a torn groin and a broken fibula and dislocated ankle.

 

  What About Private Floor Mop? You may ask. I am fine. Little sore and the upper inside area of my biceps makes me look like a domestic abuse victim or perhaps a smack addict with and interesting choice of injection sites. But really I had a blast and any pain I experienced will be taken out on the officers that are crazy enough to sign up for the training when I offer it to the local departments. Hey I paid my dues, they will pay theirs.

 

    If you are reading this and you are in one of the local departments I have some advice: Start running and get in shape you know how I love to make you sweat, and you may want to start conditioning your bones by striking palm trees with various parts of your body.... ok that might be a bit much but I am serious about the running thing.

 

 

 

               Private,

                     Floor mop

 

"S"

 

 

   Sometimes I miss old parts of my life. I used to be really involved with the arts, but that part of my life has taken a back seat since becoming a police officer. I don't regret any choices I have made but I look back on the way I was and wish for more creative outlets. Maybe thats why I started this space. I can be creative here and no one can stop me.

 

  I have a friend that I played in a band with. As a band we  were alright, but when me and Friend "Big forehead" would get together and write music we were great. We recorded a song or two and I placed one here on my space for your enjoyment. It is an instrumental piece called "music for elevators". I started off playing classical and spanish guitar and then moved into more contemporary style. You can here the spanish influence and it has kind of a "bosa nova" feel. Friend "Big forehead" is the backup guitar and I am on the solo or melody. Enjoy!

 

 

        Private,

               Sings in the shower.

"H"

 

 

 

 

   Work has been really slow lately....I am pretty sure that is a good thing but sometimes I wish for a foot pursuit or something, but it just does not seem to be coming. I also know I need to be careful about wishing for such things. Last time I wished for some excitement was while I was on FTO and we had a double homicide. Pretty messy one to complete with a cut up body in the kitchen, one in the bedroom and a frightened six year old girl calling us on 911. Lest I jinx myself, I shall not continue.

 

   While sitting in the dispatch area,toninght at the begining of my shift. I could not stop thinking about these Tyson brand buffalo wings that I found a couple of nights ago. Our local grocery store was having one of those sales where they give you 10% off of any frozen foods you can fit in a bag.  I was going straight for the Ben and Jerry's when I saw them out of the corner of my eye. Tyson buffalo chicken wings. I had not had this brand before because I am allergic to MSG and Tyson uses it most all of their chicken products. I stopped and checked the ingredients and lo and behold no MSG. I took a box to give them a try and ........... ya!......they rock my world! you know they are good when your lips swell up and you feel like you just got out of an O.C. class. I coughed and my nose ran.........and I ran right back to the store to fill a bag full of Tyson buffalo chicken wings. The best part? The boxes are the right size so you can fit almost 12 boxes in one of the 10% off bags.

 

   So I am sitting in dispatch and I blurt out that I may have found ambrosia in the form of buffalo wings, or at least a type of manna that the israelites would have killed for, and I got the strangest looks from the dispatch crew.

 

   DON'T JUDGE ME DISPATCHERS! I am human and subject to the sin of gluttony as is every one of you. I will have my buffalo wings, and I will have them all the way to HELL! the sizzling heat of the sauce will prepare my flesh for the exquisite pain that I will experience while Satan punishes me by eating Tyson buffalo chicken wings infront of me while I must abide on oatmeal (without even brown sugar) for eternity....

 

   Well... at least my lips will be prepared. 

 

 

              Private,

                  Hot lips