"H & S"

 

 

   Hello everyone! I know. I know. I haven't been around lately and have been remis in my blogging duites. Well let me catch you up on the last couple of months. This is entiled haouse keeping and that is what I am doing. I'm gonna get all the stuff that should have been put on this blog during the past while and get it out of my house ( brain ).

 

  So one night I am cruising down main street in my pimpin Crown Vic. When all of the sudden I see a large congregation out in front of one of our more popular bars. A large male was being pushed against the wall by another male and there apeared to be alot of yelling going on. I stopped my vehicle and chirpped my siren. everybody began to spred out. I was questioning a few on scene including one of the bouncers I know and this drunk idiot who we shall name "Citizen retarded leprechan" continued to screem obcenities at people and kept challenging people to fight. He was told by "Bouncer Likes to eat alot" to cool off and go back into the bar.

 

   While I was finishing the questioning "Citizen runs like a girl" ran off into the alley. there was about 20 people between me and him or I probably would have chased him but I decided scince everyone kept screeming get back here "runs Like a girl", and "Officer looks hot in a uniform" thats the guy who started it his name is " runs Like a Girl", I decided to catch up with him later. I called for some back up to pund the block and see if we could locate "runs Like a Girl" I then went back into the bar and "citizen retarded leprechan" was still yelling and calling people on I went up to him and began to question him and he became extremely hostile to me He kept acusing me of being after his licky charms or pot of gold or some crazy stuff. I placed him into cuffs and told him he was under arrest for disturbing the peace. I then placed him against a large pillar that was next to the dance floor and ordered him to spred his feet so that I could pat him down. In his infinite wisdom "retarded leprechan" decided that he was going to fight me, Cuffs on or not...... ya I know..... Like I said "RETARDED leprechan"! he pushed off against the pillar and tried to turn on me. needless to say I "helped" him to the ground. He later bonded out and failed to apear so now I am after his pot of gold. Life rocks!

 

   On the political front the city here is going to need a new police station because when the new jail is done the sheriffs office and the city police will be splitting up. Acording to one of the particularly crusty city council members told someone that we could do our reports on a park bench for all she cared. well I have included some pictures of my proposal for new sqaud cars to help ease the cities financial burden. One picture is me with the patrol vehicle, It would look great on post cards for tourists. The second picture is a dramatization of how a fellony traffic stop would be conducted with the proposed vehicles. Let me know what you think.  

 

   One thing that is going great is ........ drum roll please.........I got promoted to detective. I start my regular detective shift as soon as the new patrol guy is out on his own. By the way the new guy is the reserve officer whos driveway "citizen pees himself drunk" passed out on. I find it interesting that I am now a detective, my real middle name is Richard,and I get called a dick alot. Just a thought. Coincidence? ......... I think not!.

 

               Detective,

                        "Gets called dick alot"